A Process To Heal Your Relationship Conflict:
Restorative Relationship Conversations
When conflict happens between individuals, it’s vital for the health of the relationship that it gets acknowledged and worked through in order to prevent the accumulation of toxic emotions and resentment. Relationship ruptures, unresolved fights or even small misunderstandings can create disconnection, distrust and the loss of emotional safety. Unfortunately, many people struggle with how to move forward in the face of conflict because they simply don’t know how to manage it successfully. When individuals feel stuck and incapable of resolving interpersonal conflict on their own, getting effective support from a trained professional can make all the difference.
What are Restorative Relationship Conversations?
Founded by David Cooley (www.restorativerelationship.com), and further developed in collaboration with myself, Restorative Relationship Conversations (RRC) is a conflict resolution model applying Restorative Justice practices to intimate relationships. RRC sessions are guided conversations and skill building practice aimed at addressing interpersonal conflict and supporting its transformation into deeper connection and intimacy. The process offers a safe container for managing difficult conversations where individuals can move beyond the challenging dynamics that keep them feeling stuck. The power of the RRC model lies in the structure it provides, giving people practical guidelines and a clear framework to follow as they work together to find solutions.
Cultivating Restorative Relationship Skills
RRC is different from traditional talk therapy in that it focuses on the application of the practical skills and techniques used to transform conflict into greater clarity and understanding. In collaboration, David Cooley and I have developed tools to share with clients that target building essential relational skills that support the interruption of destructive, ineffective, and/or problematic relationship patterns. Founded in supporting the crucial paradigm shift, from an adversarial approach to conflict and relationships to a restorative one. RRC’s real-time skill-building develops clients’ nervous system and attachment awareness to support in transforming their communication habits, behaviors, and relational dynamics.
It is a process-oriented modality, which means it can produce radical shifts in a relatively short amount of time. Restorative Relationship Conversations can be used to address either specific conflicts or problematic relationship dynamics or patterns. Whether addressing short or long-term challenges, the majority of clients report being shocked by how quickly they experience positive results.
Goals Of The Process
- Address specific conflict(s) or problematic relationship dynamic(s).
- Identify and acknowledge the impact of the conflict on individuals as well as the relationship.
- Repair lingering relationship ruptures.
- Remove the obstacles to relating in healthy and fulfilling ways.
- Make collaborative agreements for moving forward and prevent similar issues in the future.
Who is this work for?
Restorative Relationship Conversations and Restorative Relationship Coaching are for anyone struggling with interpersonal conflict who is ready to take an active role in the process of transforming their relationship challenges into greater connection and intimacy. The work is equally effective for intimate relationships, family members, small groups and even individuals wanting to work on their own. If you’re tired of feeling powerless in the face of conflict and are ready to learn the skills and tools to handle it with grace and confidence, I invite you to give Restorative Relationship Conversations a try.
Restorative Relationship Conversation Process
Rest assured that you will be safe as you work together with your partner(s) to create repair and resolution. The structure and guidelines of the RRC model provides a unique container in which you can openly talk about your conflict without the fear of worsening or escalating it.
The Restorative Relationship Conversation process is divided into to 2 separate phases. The first includes the initial meeting where we clarify the scope of exactly what we’ll be working on together. Paramount in this first stage is going over the process guidelines and accessing the skill-building that will most support the client goals in preparation for the structured conversation of the second phase. The duration of this first phase will depend on the unique situation of each process and will be negotiated between the client and facilitator to best meet the needs and capacity of all involved as well as possible. The second phase is usually, at least one, 2 hour session and is the time when we will address the specific issues that you and your partner(s) are working on. The process ends with the creation of a tangible agreement between everyone about what specifically needs to be done to heal the harm and move forward in the relationship.
Restorative Relationship Coaching
In addition to Restorative Relationship processes, I provide Restorative Relationship coaching for couples and individuals. Restorative Relationship Coaching is for individuals and/or partners who feel stuck in unhealthy patterns of conflict and want new and better ways to handle it. In our work together, you will learn how to identify and change your responses to interpersonal conflict so that you feel grounded and safe, even in the midst of the most challenging conversations. Whether you are wanting to heal relationship trauma from the past, reprogram attachment wounds, address toxic communication patterns or learn how to use conflict to genuinely create deeper intimacy with your partner(s), these sessions will leave you feeling inspired and empowered to transform your conflict into greater awareness and self-growth.
This work is open and inclusive of people of all gender and sexual orientations and relationship structures/styles.